Friday, 27 January 2012

Knowing who your friends are

I will probably be posting a few reflective blog entries over this next week as I'll be resting and not really doing much. This is of course leading me to think about things, life, much more than I usually would. I feel like as I get older I am definitely learning a lot more about everything but particularly about people; family and friends. Unfortunately it seems like we really get to know what people are like when things go wrong. It's only then that we discover who truly puts the effort in with us. Perhaps it's down to rose tinted glasses, or perhaps we're just usually too busy to notice, I suppose everyone has a different situation.

A few months ago I went through quite a hard time in my life and there was a very small number of people who really genuinely cared and made sure to help me feel better. I love these people very much as it shows that even if you don't get to see these people very often, they will be there or on the end of the phone in minutes when you really need them. Unfortunately this can't be said for everyone who I would have previously considered to be one of my best friends. I have one friend in particular who had been phoning me (she lives quite a distance away) whenever there was a problem with her life, and I was helping her for however long she needed me for. But when the tables were turned and it was me who needed a friend, she was nowhere. Even when I tried to tell her what had happened, instead of asking me how I was she actually ignored it and changed the subject to something about how bad her life is - almost as if she was trying to beat me. It was only then that I realised that this friend hadn't done anything for me for years, while I carried on giving her all the support she needed. She is one of my oldest friends and I still love her to bits, and when we get together we really do have a blast together, but when it comes to needing a good, solid friend to depend on, it just wasn't her anymore. I did however have the other friends to take care of me so this isn't a sob story, I was just so shocked to realise that someone who I had put so much effort in with was giving me nothing in return.

It seems that as we get older and find our own lives we become a lot more distant with our good friends, but our true friends will always be there for you when you need them to be, no matter how little you see them. I have so much love and respect for these particular friends of mine and I will never forget the help they gave me. And the friends who don't put the effort in with me anymore? I don't bother with them either now; I have no intentions of letting someone use me as a punch bag when they can't even be supportive when I need it. It's quite simply not fair and I could use that time to do something for someone who would genuinely appreciate it.  

Do you know who your true friends are?


  1. I hear you. When we're young, everyone likes to think they have lots of friends, but in reality true friends are few and far between - something we learn as we mature and life throws us it's curve balls. I've been through a few trials in my life and like yourself, some people have stood firm, while others sadly were a disappointment. I just hope I'm never guilty of the same thing... but I expect we all have been at times.

  2. It took me a lot of years to learn this lesson. It also took me a long time to realise that just because someone is 'family' it doesn't automatically mean you have to like them.