Thursday, 29 December 2011

What a fast year

I'm writing this at stupid o clock in the morning because for some unknown reason I'm finding it hard to sleep these past few nights. I feel fine, in fact, I feel great and have no reason to be lying awake wondering why I can't sleep. It's funny how I can sleep fine in the morning when I should be getting myself into gear and getting things done! Although saying that, I've been trying not to sleep in too late to try to get myself to sleep at night but even though I'm really tired for some reason my body doesn't want to doze off! I think it's partly because my partner has been staying up late playing a new game; he always does this when he has a new one, and it doesn't help that him and 2 friends have decided to play through it together and one of them has been messing them around and not turning up to play when he says he will. Tonight he didn't show online until about midnight, which is fine for him as he's a student but Chris works 9-5 and usually he would be going to bed at around midnight. They've had a few tiffs about it and apparently this friend has had his "three strikes" and is now out! They talk on skype and were all arguing until Chris declared him to be a "dick fart" which concluded the barney. I do wonder why he didn't think of a better, perhaps more stinging insult but the lack of response from his friends shows that he doesn't need to bother. Says a lot about all of them really doesn't it! I'm not sure why and it's quite sad but I do find it harder to sleep when he isn't in bed with me, even if he is in the room next to me playing games to his hearts content. I think it must be his body heat and gentle rise and fall breathing that just allows me to relax and switch off that much easier.

While I can't sleep I'm considering where this year has actually gone. They say time flies when you're having fun but in all honesty I've had a pretty crappy year. Among relatives, including my Nan dying there have also been many months of stress and struggle, especially with money before Chris landed his placement job. At the time it felt like things would never get better, but time certainly didn't drag. I'm starting to see the correlation between growing up and the years moving by quicker and quicker every time a new one comes around. I'm pleased to say that things couldn't be much better at the moment and I'm loving every single day of life, enjoying my writing, university and family life. When I was younger I never thought I'd enjoy spending time with my Mum but now I try to see her once every week or two (we live 45 minute drive from each other and she does dodgy shift work) and even get excited about the next time I see her. Again, I feel this is quite a "grown up" feeling. I still don't really feel like much of an adult but I'm starting to see that I probably never will. I love living with my partner but it still almost feels like playing house - I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to have your first baby.

As you can probably tell I'm in quite a reflective mood and have written quite a heart felt post - not usually what you get from me so I hope you enjoy reading this one. I cannot wait to get 2012 underway, getting myself that little bit closer to finishing university (there will only be one more year to go!) and hopefully finding a job that I can use my writing skills for. Journalism is probably the top of my list, but hey, I'm not fussy to start with! In the nearer future I am looking forward to tomorrow as I am going to attempt to make myself some low fat cookies. I just love filling my flat with sweet smells and having a little treat that won't ruin the waistline!

What are you looking forward to in the far and near future?


  1. One more year of school? That's awesome! Good on ya ;) I'm looking forward to achieving a few goals this year, we'll see how much really gets done though...

  2. These are the sort of things I think in the wee small hours too.

  3. The middle of the night is when I do my best thinking.

    This year has flown past so quickly! Congratulations on nearing the end of university - sounds like you have a lot to look forward to in 2012 :)